Break.Break.

Kaya ayokong gising ng mga ganitong oras eh.. Nakaka-emo! Bad trip. :|

"Bakit 'di mo maantay yung 'change'? Hindi naman biglaang nangyayari yun eh." -- May isang taon narin mula nung may nagsabi sakin nito. Sobrang tumatak sa isip ko 'to, at mula nun sinasabi ko lagi sa sarili ko na ang sama sama ko naman for [almost] giving up that easily.

Pero ngayon, makalipas ang isang taon, dapat na ba akong umasa sa 'change' na yun? Kasi here I am, a year after, still confused, still stuck in the very same situation. Naghintay naman ako eh.. [At naghihintay parin] para sa pagbabago, pero wala eh.. Hindi lang talaga ko 'patient' siguro.. :(( [Alam ko yun, alam na alam ko yun.. Wala akong talent pagdating sa pagiging 'patient', kahit pa pilitin ko ng bonggang-bongga!]

Let me just put it this way.. Ako na, ako na ang masama..

Ako na ang masama. Ako na ang 'di makaantay sa 'pagbabago' na gaganda pa ang takbo nitong kwentong 'to..

Ako na ang masama. Ako na ang nang-iwan sa ere at inisip ang sariling kapakanan. Ako na ang di tumupad sa pangako.

Ako na ang masama. Ako na ang palaging umaasa at nag-eexpect, kaya madalas madisappoint.

Ako na ang masama. Ako na ang mahina. Ako na ang bumitaw. Ako na ang ayaw lumaban.

Yung feeling na ang tagal mo nakakakapit sa isang bagay. Na kahit masakit na ay mas hinihigpitan mo yung kapit. Darating yung panahon na nakakapit ka nga pero wala ka nang maramdaman. :((

I need a break.. I'm sorry..

[I know medyo wrong timing 'tong 'call' na 'to.. Pero I couldn't be of any 'help' to you anymore.. Wala na kong mabibigay.. I don't wanna be unfair to you.. I'm sorry..]

.......... :((

AYAW KO NA!

Ayoko na. Ayoko na talaga! T*****A! Kapal ng *pffttttt*! Kaya ayoko nag-o-open ng FB eh [Nagkataon lang na napagutusan ako, at nakita ko yung mga HINDI KO NA DAPAT TINITIGNAN!] Naiinis ako! [Kaya na naman ako nag-blog.] Nangigigil ako. Umiiyak ako habang nagttype. Ang ingay ng "killboard" ko. [Lunch break pa naman ngayon.] Nakasiksik na naman ako sa sulok para walang makakita habang nahihibang na naman ako dito sa station ko. Iuntog ko nalang kaya ulo ko dito sa pader, para makalimutan ko yung nakita ko!

Kapal ng mukha! Nakakainis! Ang kapal talaga.. Nakuha pang.. AAAAAARRRGH! Eh 'di sige na, ikaw na! IKAW NA ANG MAGALING! IKAW NA ANG SIKAT! Ikaw na lahat! Yan ba, yan ba makakapagpasaya sa'yo? Eh 'di sige jan ka! Ang dami mong alam, pero kapag.. WAAAAAAAH! 'Di ko ugali manumbat o kung anu man eh. Titigil na ko.



Breathe In... Breathe Out...


[After 15 mins.]


Sobrang nainis lang ako.. Wala lang din mapagsabihan, wala din makakaintindi eh. Hindi rin kasi alam yung BUONG KWENTO.. Anyway, at least sana ngayon medyo mataraugan na ko. Hindi na ko magaaksaya ng panahon.. ANDAR NA!! Bawal na petiks!

KTNXBYE.

[Papampam post lang. 'Wag na bigyang pansin.]

-----

Alam ko hindi ako "PHOTOGRAPHER" dahil may "DSLR" ako. I just love taking photos, is it my fault if I can buy a good camera to sustain my hobby?

In The End I Wanna Be Standing At The Beginning With You..

At The Beginning
by: Donna Lewis and Richard Marx


We were strangers
Starting out on a journey
Never dreaming
What we'd have to go through
Now here we are
And I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you

No one told me
I was going to find you
Unexpected
What you did to my heart
When I lost hope
You were there to remind me
This is the start

And...

Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey

I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

We were strangers
On a crazy adventure
Never dreaming
How our dreams would come true
Now here we stand
Unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you

And...

Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey

I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

I knew there was somebody somewhere
Like me alone in the dark
Now I know my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing's gonna tear us apart

And...

Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
(BOTH)
Life is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey

I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

Life is a road and I wanna keep going
Love is a river I wanna keep going on..
Starting out on a journey
Life is a road and I wanna keep going
Love is river I wanna keep flowing
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you..


-------------------------

LOVE. LOVE. LOVE this song! ♥♥♥ [Kung gifted lang talaga ko ng 'singing voice' eh malamang binibirit ko narin sa videoke 'to. :p] Heard this song on the bus going to the office, syempre LSS, then DL na agad, then "on the loop" na. Hehehe. Ü That's all.



How I wish every girl's life has a "Disney Princess" ending.. :|

Surrender.

6 months has gone since 2011 started, and yet I'm still here, stuck in the very same situation of not knowing where to go. "It's how you step up to the fast-changing world." I remember saying this line to a friend way [waaaaaay] back. And now, come to think of it, how do I step up from this fast-changing world? This is how, I'm gonna back down. Why? Because I'm just too damn tired to fight for what I want. At least now I've come to realize that what I want is not what destiny/life/God/etc. wants for me. This is not the road that I should be taking. [Or so it seems.] I dream of having a stable job, a masteral degree, the 'close-to-perfect' lovelife, through-thick-and-thin friendships, start investing on my own house, etc. and I've been working so hard to achieve all that.. But, its just not happening. [At least some of it doesn't.] I'm still not promoted on my job, I haven't enrolled yet to Graduate School, eeerrmm..., etc. So now, I'm just gonna wave that white flag, scream my heart out "EH DI IKAW NA!!! IKAW NA MAGPATAKBO NG BUHAY KO!!!"

Truth be told, we're only human and we, one way or another, go through this phase in our life when we just give up and surrender everything. I just hope that this time, I'd FULLY surrender everything to Him. Let Him take over my life, and help me accept wherever He leads me, whether its what I want or not. May He give me a new direction to a happier life that I know and I'm very sure of He wants for me. May I fully give my trust to Him and renew my faith in Him and continue to believe that there will be a brighter tomorrow for me, for you, and for all of us.




P.S. Oh yeah! Its my birthday today. Blah. :|