Oo.

Di mo lang alam
Naiiisip kita
Baka sakali lang maisip mo ako
Di mo lang alam
Hanggang sa gabi inaasam makita kang muli

Nagtapos ang lahat sa di inaasahang pahanon
At ngayon ako'y iyong iniwan
Luhaan, sugatan, 'di mapakinabangan
Sana'y nagtanong ka lang
Kung 'di mo lang alam
Sana'y nagtanong ka lang
Kung 'di mo lang alam

Ako'y iyong nasaktan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman
Hindi mo lang alam
Kay tagal na panahon
Ako'y nandirito pa rin hanggang ngayon para sa'yo

Lumipas mga araw na ubod ng saya
'Di pa rin nagbabago ang aking pagsinta
Kung ako'y nagkasala patawad na sana
Puso kong pagal ngayon lang nagmahal

'Di mo lang alam
Ako'y iyong nasaktan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman
Puro s'ya na lang
Sana'y ako naman
'Di mo lang alam
Ika'y minamasdan
Sana'y iyong mamalayang hindi mo lang pala alam

'Di mo lang alam
Kahit tayo'y magkaibigan lang
Bumabalik ang lahat sa tuwing nagkukulitan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman
Ako'y nandito lang
Hindi mo lang alam
Matalino ka naman

Kung ikaw at ako
Ay tunay na bigo sa laro na ito
Ay dapat bang sumuko
Sana hindi ka na lang pala aking nakilala
Kung alam ko lang ako'y masasaktan ng ganito
Sana'y nakinig na lang ako sa nanay ko

'Di mo lang alam
Ako'y iyong nasaktan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman
Puro s'ya na lang
Sana'y ako naman
'Di mo lang alam
O, ika'y minamasdan
Sana iyo'y mamalayang hindi mo lang pala alam
Oooooooo

Malas mo
Ikaw ang natipuhan ko
Di mo lang alam
Ako'y iyong nasaktan

-------------------------

Para sa mga sawi, bigo, malungkot, umiiyak parin hanggang ngayon, nahihirapan, basta lahat-lahat na. KAMPAY! Ü Mabuhay ang UP DHARMA DOWN para sa kantang 'to. Cheers!

Exploring Puerto Princesa. [Sunrise Mansion] [PhotoBlog]

After 3 days of non-stop, rock n' rollin' trips, we decided to just stay 'home' at Sunrise Mansion. The place is SUPERB. [though, again, I didn't get to take photos of the said place, but it's super nice! ♥]

One of their 'candid' moments again, Bits & Cha.

The pathway leading to the beach.

Chill...

[Pose daw ala 'Temptaion Island'. Haha!] At the Infinity Pool. [medyo cloudy, nahirapan ako i-set yung cam.]

Of course, hindi nawawala sa outing ang JUMP SHOT! Ü

But this one's the best jump shot of them all. JETE'! Ü

Mag-e-emote sana sa falls, nahilam tuloy. :p

And syempre, 'di naman ako papayag na wala akong photo.. So.. TADAAAAH! Ü
[Photo by: Jairus Perocho]

'Till the next sweet escape! ♥♥♥

Exploring Puerto Princesa. [Starfish Island + Pandan Island] [PhotoBlog]

Whole day island hopping at Honda Bay, and our first stop is what they call "Starfish Island" [though I didn't see even one starfish.. or 'seastar'..]

Then we had lunch at Pandan Island [and probably stayed there the longest.] and of course, 'photoshoot' with my friends. ♥♥♥

We just love the frame! ♥

Jai w/ the girls.

Candid shot. [Bits & Cha, while waiting for their set. Naks!]

U-S-T TIGERS!

TIGER POWER! Raaaaaaawr!

Papatalo ba naman ang mga iskolar ng bayan? U-NIBERSIDAD NG PILIPINAS! [Plus the 'oblation'. Haha!]

Last day photos, up next! Ü

Exploring Puerto Princesa. [Sabang Beach] [PhotoBlog]

These are 'some' of the shots during our stay in Sabang Beach [waiting for our trip at the Underground River.]

L-R: Noel, Rinnah, Pau, Bituin, Mikas, Me, Camille, Jai, Chasha

Don't die on me, Blowfish..

Well.. well.. well.. What do we have here?

More photos next post. Ü

Unfollowing.

Ilang buwan narin issue 'to sa ibang mga kaibigan ko. "Ang sama naman kasi kung i-unfollow mo diba?" Kung sabagay, mismong tayo nga, kapag may nag-unfollow satin, we can't help but wonder why, then medyo slight tampo, then unfollow back na agad kung sino yun. May mga iba nga, talagang 'tweeting-their-rage-out' dahil sa inis nila na may nag-unfollow sa kanila.

And since I'm bored, I Googled some stuff about blahs, including this Twitter unfollowing issue [Just for the sake of it. Haha! Nothing serious naman on my part.] and this is what I found.. [Yung may impact at least, and very objective/unbiased.]

"Seems like it would be easier to just unfollow them and if they wanted to know why, comment on it tell them why. I’m assuming they are doing something that annoys you, such as tweeting incessantly or talking about things that don’t interest you. Twitter is supposed to be a casual thing, without an implied obligation to follow people that don’t interest you. Unfollowing isn’t insulting in the way that refusing to accept their phone calls would be."

Source: http://websources.info/blog/2011/01/28/turn-offhide-tweets-from-someone-without-actually-unfollowing-them/

So there. Hindi naman pala insulting eh, casual lang dapat sa Twitter. Hahaha! Anu ba? Nag-blog pa ko dahil dito, lame! Yep, I am bored. That's why. :p

So guys, if you're annoyed/pissed off/irritated by my Twitter blahs/rants/raves/whines/etc. then feel free to unfollow me.. No offense will be taken.. Seriously. :) Because I'm warning you, I won't back down on my 'everything-must-be-tweeted' attitude. HAH! :p

Sa Kanya.

Namulat ako at ngayo'y nag-iisa

Pagkatapos ng ulan
Bagama't nakalipas na ang mga sandali
Ay nagmumuni kung ako'y nagwagi
Pinipilit mang sabihin na ito'y wala sa akin
Ngunit bakit hanggang ngayon, nagdurugo pa rin

Sa kanya pa rin babalik sigaw, ng damdamin
Sa kanya pa rin sasaya, bulong ng puso ko
Kung buhay pa ang alaala ng ating nakaraan
Ang pagmamahal at panahon alay pa rin sa kanya

At sa hatinggabi ay nag-iisa na lang
Ay minamasdan ang larawan mo
At ngayo'y bumalik nang siya'y kapiling pa
Alaala ng buong magdamag
Kung sakali mang isipin na ito'y wala sa akin
Sana'y dinggin ang tinig kong nag-iisa pa rin

Sa kanya pa rin babalik sigaw, ng damdamin
Sa kanya pa rin sasaya, bulong ng puso ko
Kung buhay pa ang alaala ng ating nakaraan
Ang pagmamahal at panahon alay pa rin sa kanya

Sa kanya..

Learned Helplessness.

Learned helplessness, as a technical term in animal psychology and related human psychology, means a condition of a human person or an animal in which it has learned to behave helplessly, even when the opportunity is restored for it to help itself by avoiding an unpleasant or harmful circumstance to which it has been subjected. Learned helplessness theory is the view that clinical depression and related mental illnesses may result from a perceived absence of control over the outcome of a situation.

Learned helplessness can contribute to poor health when people neglect diet, exercise, and medical treatment, falsely believing they have no power to change. The more people perceive events as uncontrollable and unpredictable, the more stress they experience, and the less hope they feel about making changes in their lives. Young adults and middle-aged parents with a pessimistic explanatory style are often more likely to suffer from depression. People with a pessimistic explanatory style tend to be poor at problem-solving and cognitive restructuring, and also tend to demonstrate poor job satisfaction and interpersonal relationships in the workplace. Those with a pessimistic explanatory style also tend to have weakened immune systems, and not only have increased vulnerability to minor ailments (e.g. cold, fever) and major illness (e.g. heart attack, cancers), but also have a less effective recovery from health problems.

Learned helplessness can also be a motivational problem. Individuals who have failed at tasks in the past conclude erroneously that they are incapable of improving their performance. This might set children behind in academic subjects and dampen their social skills. Children with learned helplessness typically fail academic subjects, and are less intrinsically motivated than others. They may use learned helplessness as an excuse or a shield to provide self-justification for school failure. Additionally, describing someone as having learned to be helpless can serve as a reason to avoid blaming him or her for the inconveniences experienced. In turn, the student will give up trying to gain respect or advancement through academic performance.


Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learned_helplessness | Image by: Google

-------------------------

Thanks to Bituin at may bagong "clinical term" na naman akong nalaman. [Ayan! Hindi Google ginawa ko, Wikipedia na agad! Hahaha! BITCH!] Natakot naman ako bigla.. Positive yung SOME of the syndromes eh.. Wuuuuuuhooooo! 'Wag naman sana.. Magbabago na.. Promise. Promise. PROMISE!

Back Into You.

Picking up the pieces of our broken memories
There's one I can't let go of that keeps me on my knees
See I know it's half my fault that we couldn't stay together
But we said no matter what, we'd still be friends forever

How could you turn and just go, and leave me standing so cold
Now you wanna work it out, tell me what's that all about
How could you up and move on like what you had for me is gone
Now you wanna work it out.. But baby I'm..

Trying to find my way back into you
When I think of how you left me, baby it's not easy
But I'm trying to find my way back into you
When I think about you've moved on, baby it's just so hard

I never quit my love for you, baby that's the truth
Too hard for me to move on when I feel this way for you
See I know sometimes we need our space, baby that's ok
But if you really loved me why'd you leave that way? Tell me..

How could you turn and just go, and leave me standing so cold
Now you wanna work it out, tell me what's that all about
How could you up and move on like what you had for me is gone
Now you wanna work it out.. But baby I'm..

Trying to find my way back into you
When I think of how you left me, baby it's not easy
But I'm trying to find my way back into you
When I think about you've moved on, baby it's just so hard

Heaven knows every second I'm away from you I find it so hard
I'd give anything to find the strength to be with you
I want it like you do I just need some time to find peace of mind
But before you go I want you to know that I'm..

Trying to find my way back into you
When I think of how you left me, baby it's not easy
But I'm trying to find my way back into you
When I think about you've moved on, baby it's just so hard

ENOUGH ALREADY!

No matter how hard I try to avoid it, bad vibes keep coming my way. AS IN! Like for example today, it could have been one "normal" day, but noooo! Here's the deal..

I've f*cking applied for my VL almost a month ago for that Puerto Princesa trip that was booked last December, or somewhere near that date. I wanted to go there badly, especially now! That's why I tried to make ammends on my end for them to approve my VL. I even offered to work overtime [without pay] just to show them that I'm willing to be of help just so they can approve my VL.

BUT, unexpectedly, my reliever had an emergency and couldn't report for work on the day that I applied my VL. [Which I have know just last Monday] I am not that inconsiderate and I totally understand her situation that's why I didn't argue. I won't deny that it really broke my heart not being able to join the trip. [Ako pa naman pasimuno ng pag-book na yun!] Plus, I so need to get out of here, AS IN!

Fast-forward. I've already accepted the fact that I won't be going after all. As what I've said from my previous post, I am letting those BVs pass. But what's annoying is that your boss will continually ask you on what to do regarding that matter. I mean, really? Is there still something that can be done? And there is, why couldn't you think of it and why bother ask me? Diba lang? I know this ranting is kinda low, but I am this furious because this isn't the first time that this is happening. [Alam ng mga kaibigan ko na tuwing trip lagi akong may extra ticket, delayed flight, or early return home!] Plus, reliever is trying to play "psych war" on me by pushing me to talk to the Department Head regarding the situation and what needs to be done if ever this will happen again. WHY ME? WHY NOT YOU? Kainis eh! Ako pa pinagtutulakan! Haller! As if naman may magagawa pa eh.. isa lang naman sasabihin nila eh.. "Wala na tayo magagawa jan eh!" She keps sending me text messages all morning, and I'm like.. "ENOUGH ALREADY!" Papasok na nga ako bukas eh, wala nang issue. Wala nang usap-usap!

Well, here's what I can do.. I can freaking pass my resignation letter. Ktnxbye.


P.S. : Joke lang yung last part.. Not yet. Haha! Wala pa kong ipon eh. Hahaha! Caught in the moment lang. Haaaaaay.

Blahs.

Random thoughts. Stuff. Blahs. Updates.

** PURPLE PHONE DROOL **

While in ATC last Saturday, I saw this baby that really caught my attention. And I wanna buy her right away.. BUT! Luckily, I manage to get hold of myself, and just adored her from the display window. And now, I can't stop thinking about her. [Yeah! It's a girl.. a girl fone. And Im'ma name her BONNIE if I get to buy her. *hopefully*] And here it is.. the *almost* new BLACKBERRY CURVE 8530! ♥♥♥
And of course, I need 2 fones, and they have to be matching colors [WHAT? Hahaha!] so I was thinking also of replacing my Nokia E72, with the same model [Of course, I've learned to love that fone COMPLETELY! Hahaha!] but the Amethyst version. [What do I mean by that? Check this out and you'll know why!] ♥♥♥
** STUCK IN MY HEAD **


I've been playing these albums for weeks now, and I'm getting the hang of it. [Timeout from EMO songs muna.] Relaxing. I recommend you download it also and listen to the whole album. It's nice. Enough said. Ü



** GETTIN' INKED **


Planning on getting inked again. [No definite date yet. Promise! Haha!] And I want it placed near my right ankle so its kinda-crazy painful! Hahaha! But then, no pain no tatt right? HAH! Maybe on my 25th birthday? Nah! How 'bout 24th? Hahaha! =)) But then it got me thinking, my tattoo 'theme' will be ruined if I opt to choose this design.. buuuuuut I WANT it! =( [Stars, Purple, Pinkish, blah!] Hhhhmmm.. Decisions, decisions..

** HAPPY BIRTHDAY MI LOVE **

June 7. For the first time in N years, I didn't confuse myself for another date of my dear friend's birthday. ARIEL L. REGULLANO. Happy *insert age here* Birthday! Hahaha! Ü I Googled your name looking for a photo that I'll post here, and this is my favorite one.

Again, Happy Happy Birthday. Thank you for all the craziness that you continually bring into my life. [Anu daw? Grammar check nga Grammar Police!] Basta, for being a one-of-a-kind friend. I love you (mmm-hhmmm) honey bee! ♥♥♥

** ON MY TEMPER **

Lately, I'm learning how to control my temper [Or in this case, my bitchiness.] and how to just let those 'Bad Vibes' pass. Right? WRONG! This is not good. I repeat. THIS. IS. NOT. GOOD. Why? Ano yun? 'Di na ko marunong magalit? Kasi napapalipas ko nalang yung mga bagay na dapat ko ikagalit? AT bakit ako nagsasalita ng Filipino? 'Diba dapat 'pag galit magaling mag-English? Anyway.. As I was saying. I think not being able to get mad isn't healthy. And I think people will take advantage of that. [Nega naman!] Basta, lately I don't know how to get mad.. I'll just let it pass.. So go ahead.. Test me, while it lasts.. Hahahaha! =)) Try me, if you dare.

** RANDOM THOUGHTS **

► Everyone is facing a battle. You don't know what they're going through, so try to be a little bit considerate sometimes.

► Not everything is about you. So don't assume, but rather, ask.

► What you think is a good diversion won't take your mind off things that you need to deal with. [Ha? Basta ganun!]

► If you think you know it, YOU DON'T! [And I quote.. Ü]

► Ngayon ko lang nalaman, may 'substitution' din pala ng tao sa buhay?

► Kailangan ko ng 'breather'. Yung bagong environment. New routine. New work. etc.

► PEACE OF MIND - I so need you now. I'm tired.

'Till here. Blah.

............

My shattered dreams and broken heart are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands, standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone wishing all my feeling was gone
I gave my best to you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I’m down to my last cry

I was here, you were there, guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you, I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone, wishing all my feeling was gone
Gotta get over you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I know I got to be strong
Cause round me life goes on and on and on
And on.....

I’m gonna dry my eyes
Right after I had my
One last cry

One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind for the very last time
Been living a lie
I guess I’m down
I guess I’m down
I guess I’m down...
To my last cry...

............

After almost 5 songs, 4 annoying calls, and 10 minutes of just staring at the monitor, I still couldn't come up with a good intro.. So here goes.. Game.

A LOT has been going on, with you, with me, and the rest of the world. And honestly, it's more than I can bear, physically and emotionally. Every time I read your posts in your blog, I couldn't help but cry, think of you, and worry about you. If I can really take away all the hurt, pain, sadness and everything else that you're going through, I'd gladly do it, wholeheartedly. But the truth is, there is nothing that I can do. I couldn't think of anything "appropriate" to do with the situation. I'm all out of plans this time.

I know I haven't got the slightest idea of what you're really going through, but I do know it's not that easy. All I know is that everything has a purpose, and that He will never ever leave you. So you need not worry, because even if the people around you leave you or if all else fail, He'll be there with you, holding you and carrying your burdens for you.

Know that you'll always have that one prayer warrior who'll continue to pray for what's best for you and for the things that is yet to come.

So no matter what you've been through, no matter what you're into
No matter what you see when you look outside your window
Brown grass or green grass, picket fence or barbed wire
Never ever put them down, you just lift your arms higher
Raise them 'till your arms are tired, let them know you're here
That you're struggling, surviving, that you're going to persevere
Ain't nobody leaving, nobody going home
Even if they turn the lights out, the show is going on...