Prayer.

Take this pain away, I can no longer take it. I SWEAR! One more day with it, I think my heart will explode. Seriously, THIS. IS. TOO. MUCH. TO. BEAR. What did I ever do to deserve this? This question's been on my mind for a while now. And I haven't found the answer yet. Maybe this, maybe that, but who really knows? All I know is that you have a purpose why these things are happening now.

I'm sorry for being impatient. My agony is killing me. Yes, I am afraid of not knowing what lies ahead. I can't think straight because I am clouded by my emotions. But please, help me on this one. I am weak. And I easily give in to my weakness, thus making me more vulnerable than I already am.

I'm sorry that I make decision when I'm mad. I let my anger take hold of me. I don't like myself when I'm like this. Make it stop. Don't let me do things that I know I will later regret. Help me set things right, even for myself. Guide me through my decisions. Help me remember that that the RIGHT decision isn't always the HAPPY decision. Make me understand that things happens for a reason, and circumstances are meant to give us a lesson.

Fill me with love once again, so I can give love to other as well. Forgive my from my shortcomings, so that I can forgive myself as well, and free me from this guilt. Everything is in your hands now. I surrender you this fight. I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE. =((

Ayan Ka Nanaman Melissa Joy!

♫♪ Nandyan ka na naman, tinutukso-tukso ang aking puso. Ilang ulit na bang iniiwasan ka di na natuto. Sulyap ng 'yong mata laging nadarama kahit malayo. Nahihirapan na, lalapit-lapit pa di na natuto. Isang ngiti mo lang at ako'y napapaamo. Yakapin mong minsan ay muling magbabalik sa'yo na walang kalaban-laban. Ang puso ko'y tanging iyo lamang. ♪♫

Oo na. Ito na naman ako, si Melissa Joy, tatalon na naman sa bangin. Wuuuuuzaaaaah! [At ikaw EMMA CRISTINA OBENZA, 'wag ka tatawa-tawa diyan!]

Ganito lang yan: RISK. Kung THIS would turn out fine, eh di ok. Isang masayang araw sa Pebrero? Check. Kung hindi naman, eh di back to square one na naman at iiyak at magpapaka-emo at magttweet ng kung anu-anong naaalibadbaran na si John Benson. Hahaha! =))

Pero seriously, hindi ko alam kung anong laro nanaman meron 'tong si 'FATE' at bakit may ganitong kaganapan sa payak kong araw. Nakakabigla. Nakaksuka. Nakakaexcite. Para na naman akong sasakay sa roller coaster! Aakyat, bababa, paikot-ikot, nakakahilo. Tapos magugulat ka nalang, tapos na yung ride. Am I in for another ride? Malay naten. Pwedeng oo, pwedeng hindi. Ayoko mag jump into conclusions pero sana.. sana.. sana my heart would be still. Para di na ko mag-hope. Para less narin yung sakit. Basta.

Ngingiti ako mamaya. Alam ko. Positive.

Dito na lang muna. Bye!

Late Night Rants 2.

WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS? Nagmahal lang ako, pero ganito ang kapalit? Ouch! Sana pala nakipaglokohan lang ako, di siguro ganito kasakit. Pero buti nalang din hindi. At least, alam kong nagbago na ko.

I don't know what to think anymore. In fact, I don't want to think anymore. Of you, of us, of the things around us, everything! I can't stand being disappointed over and over and over again.

I have proven myself that you are not worth my tears, my heartaches, my smiles, my laughter, my time, my effort, my love.. But you know what? This doesn't make me feel any better. So, once again I prove myself wrong.

Ok na 'to.. Sa ngayon. Bye!

Late Night Rants.

Ano January? Matatapos ka na pero ganito pa rin ako, miserable parin. Saya mo ah! Salamat!

Nung Friday, nacheck ako ng mga Predictions ng mga Zodiac Signs for the year 2011, sabi ang Cancer, Aries at Pisces daw swerte sa first quater ng taon. AH TALAGA? Swerte ba 'to? Tama nga ang mga tao, HULA lang yang mga yan, DI TOTOO!

Ayoko nang marining ang 'three-words-eight-letters' na yan. Hindi na ko naniniwala sa totoong laman ng mga salitang yan. Shet!

Alam ko bakit ako minamalas lately.. Malapit na kasi mag-February eh. February and October ang mga buwan na para akong pinaparusahan ng kung sino man. Lahat ng BV nangyayari ng mga buwan na yan. Lalo na yang Valentine's shit na yan! In your face! Hindi na ko magkakaron ng Valentine's chorvah kahit kailan, sumpa na sakin yan. Bakit ba kasi may ganyang tradisyon pang nalalaman. Che!

Napapagod na ko. Hanggang ngayon umiiyak parin ako. Nahihirapan. Nakakatulog ng umiiyak. Miserable. Sana naman kahit paano gumaan na 'tong kaartehan kong 'to. Hindi na nakakatuwa eh. Tama nga sila, hindi mo mapipilit ang sarili mo maging masaya. NEVER! Haaaaay. :((

Last Rant: May bago akong laban na kailangang harapin. Mas mabigat 'to sa lahat! Magbabago buhay ko 'pag nagkataon. :(

Dito muna. Paalam.

Water Runs Dry.

We don’t even talk anymore and we don’t even know what we argue about. Don’t even say I love you no more ’cause saying how we feel is no longer allowed. Some people will work things out and some just don’t know how to change.

Let’s not wait till the water runs dry. We might watch our whole lives pass us by. Let’s don’t wait till the water runs dry. We’ll make the biggest mistake of our lives, don’t do it baby.

Now they can see the tears in our eyes but we deny the pain that lies deep in our hearts. Well maybe that’s a pain we can’t hide ’cause everybody knows that we’re both torn apart. Why do we hurt each other? Why do we push love away?

Let’s not wait till the water runs dry. We might watch our whole lives pass us by. Let’s don’t wait till the water runs dry. We’ll make the biggest mistake of our lives, don’t do it baby.