Umalis ako ng Manila (Nang biglaan.) para kahit paano eh sandaling takasan ang kasalukuyang nangyayari. Pero kahit gaano kalayo ang tahakin ko, humahabol ito na parang multo. Wow! Emo post coming up!
Sorry. Nakaka-emo lang talaga. Kaya ayoko ng malapit sa dagat eh. Hinihila ako lagi para umiyak at maglabas ng sama ng loob. :((
So ayun na nga. Naisip ko, pwede naman ako umalis na sa sitwasyon ko para hindi na malungkot eh. Pero di ko kaya. At naiinis ako dahil habang tumatagal at habang gumugulo lalo at sitwasyon, mas napapatunyan ko lang kung gaano ako ka-martyr.. Sobra! Taena! Bipolar na ampft. Ewan ko ba. Basta ang alam ko nasasaktan na ko, pero mas gusto ko na 'to kaysa sa walang maramdaman. Mahirap oo, pero pareho namang mahirap kahit tumigil ako eh. I guess its a lose-lose situation. Haha! May ganun ba? Ewan.
Nitong mga nakaraang araw napatunyan ko rin na masarap mag-blog kapag lasing! Hahaha! :))
19 February 2011
Sa Isip.. Sa Salita.. At Sa..
Ano nga ba yung huling linya sa 'Panatang Makabayan'? Sa isip, sa salita, at sa? Tama! GAWA! Tama. Sa gawa.
May nagsabi sakin kagabi.. 'Sana di lang 2 out of 3 nagagawa niya noh?' 'Ewan ko. Diskarte na niya yun.'
Ayoko na mag-impose, or mag-demand ng kung anu man. Wala na akong karapatan. Maghihintay nalang ako. Parang paghintay ko sa bonus namin.. Mukhang malabo, pero naniniwala akong dadating. :D
Gusto ko lang may masabi. Naiinis ako eh. Dito nalang. I'm out!
May nagsabi sakin kagabi.. 'Sana di lang 2 out of 3 nagagawa niya noh?' 'Ewan ko. Diskarte na niya yun.'
Ayoko na mag-impose, or mag-demand ng kung anu man. Wala na akong karapatan. Maghihintay nalang ako. Parang paghintay ko sa bonus namin.. Mukhang malabo, pero naniniwala akong dadating. :D
Gusto ko lang may masabi. Naiinis ako eh. Dito nalang. I'm out!
17 February 2011
Suntok Sa Buwan.
Mga bagay na naplano ko sa utak ko para sa taong 2011: (Sana matupad kahit kalahati.)
- Makapasyal sa labas ng bansa. (HK, SG, Macau, Malaysia, Vietnam, Korea, etc.)
- Magkaron ng 'Savings Account' na 'savings' talaga at di pwede galawin.
- MGA bagong lente para kay Keri. (or bagong body SANA!) Pwede na ang 10mm wide, 18-250mm zoom, or 35mm prime na nagaauto sa D5000.
- Maging healthy para di na sakitin.
- Matupad ang pangarap na timbang: 110 lbs.
- Magboom ang business ko. :D
- Ma-spoil ang parating kong pamangkin na si Benny! :D
- Makabili ng HD TV at Wii para sa kwarto namin.
- Makapagpagawa ng matinong bookshelf.
- MacBook Pro 13-inch. :D
- iTouch 4G or iPhone 4. :D
- Mapasyal ang parents ko sa Bora. (Syempre kasama kaming lahat!)
- Maregular na sa trabaho.
- Maging masaya.
- Manumbalik ang kakesuhan sakin.
- Lalaking di ako iiwan at mamahalin hanggang... forever!
Okthanksbye! Nananaginip na ko ng gising. Oh well, hence the 'suntok sa buwan' title. Alam kong mahirap o baka hindi matupad ang mga yan, pero kung may matutupad jan, eh di masaya! Kailangan lang ng konting higpit ng sinturon! Eyes on the prize! Wuuuzaaaah!
- Makapasyal sa labas ng bansa. (HK, SG, Macau, Malaysia, Vietnam, Korea, etc.)
- Magkaron ng 'Savings Account' na 'savings' talaga at di pwede galawin.
- MGA bagong lente para kay Keri. (or bagong body SANA!) Pwede na ang 10mm wide, 18-250mm zoom, or 35mm prime na nagaauto sa D5000.
- Maging healthy para di na sakitin.
- Matupad ang pangarap na timbang: 110 lbs.
- Magboom ang business ko. :D
- Ma-spoil ang parating kong pamangkin na si Benny! :D
- Makabili ng HD TV at Wii para sa kwarto namin.
- Makapagpagawa ng matinong bookshelf.
- MacBook Pro 13-inch. :D
- iTouch 4G or iPhone 4. :D
- Mapasyal ang parents ko sa Bora. (Syempre kasama kaming lahat!)
- Maregular na sa trabaho.
- Maging masaya.
- Manumbalik ang kakesuhan sakin.
- Lalaking di ako iiwan at mamahalin hanggang... forever!
Okthanksbye! Nananaginip na ko ng gising. Oh well, hence the 'suntok sa buwan' title. Alam kong mahirap o baka hindi matupad ang mga yan, pero kung may matutupad jan, eh di masaya! Kailangan lang ng konting higpit ng sinturon! Eyes on the prize! Wuuuzaaaah!
09 February 2011
Set Me Free.
Pakawalan mo na ko. Kasi wala narin namang kaibahan ang mga nangyayari ngayon eh. Parang pinapabigat nalang natin lalo ang sitwasyon.
Ako na lang ang magpaparaya, magkaroon lang ng katahimikan ng loob. Siguro bumalik ka na lang sa kanya, para wala nang problema, at manahimik narin siya.. sa piling mo.
Galit ako, galit na galit. Pero wala nang magagawa ang galit na 'to kaya hindi ko nalang bibigyang pansin.
Isang madramang gabi ng Pebrero para sakin. Kalat na pag-iisip para may maisulat dito. Che!
Ako na lang ang magpaparaya, magkaroon lang ng katahimikan ng loob. Siguro bumalik ka na lang sa kanya, para wala nang problema, at manahimik narin siya.. sa piling mo.
Galit ako, galit na galit. Pero wala nang magagawa ang galit na 'to kaya hindi ko nalang bibigyang pansin.
Isang madramang gabi ng Pebrero para sakin. Kalat na pag-iisip para may maisulat dito. Che!
04 February 2011
Down The Memory Lane.
These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive.
- You let me call you "Star" again. At sinabi mo na ako lang ang pwedeng tumawag sa'yo nun.
- April 10 madaling-araw. Asa shore tayo, you're hugging me while leaning your head on my back.
- You gave me a starfish.
- April 10 morning. Bago tayo sumakay ng bangka, without saying anything, you hugged me.
- April 10 afternoon sa tent. We talked like we never did before. I guess nawala na ang migraine. I ended kissing your cheek. Level up.
- Same day. We texted too like we never did. And it's the first time I heard (actually read) you said those "words." I knew you meant it. I'm confident that you did.
- The week after that. How cheesy are we? :)
- April 16. A friend's birthday party. That hug.
- April 17 morning. Before we separate. Accidentally, your lips pressed to mine and you texted me "Gusto mo pa sa lips ha? haha."
- Chill sa MoA. First time. I never thought that you would share those kind of "things" with me. I feel I am special. Thanks for the trust. Awkwardness eliminated. It was the same time you asked me if I believe those "words" that you said to me. I told you I do.
- After that day. We had 'sabaw' (my fault) moment. But you made everything alright.
- Another chill. Sobra mo 'kong pinakaba. After we bought your coffee and while we walk to our "Chill" spot, you shocked me sa sinabi mo na hindi ko alam eh joke lang pala. :) You laughed at my reaction. When we reached our chill spot, you hugged me so tight before the 'sabaw' moment na na'disappoint' ako hehe. Thanks for telling me those things.
- May 5. Dared me to stop smoking for a day. I did, at least for almost 2 weeks. I'm thankful you asked me.
- May 14 with friends. We're making fun of a little chanting girl at the LRT. You had an LSS with the song she's singing.
- May 15 morning at the beach while waiting for our friends. We had a 'review' of something. Tinanong mo ko kung meron pa ba kong gusto itanong. We sat in front of a store, I told you how much I'm hurting, but I'm glad we made everything alright. What's important to me now is how we are doing in the present.
- And yeah, the trike. It was the first. If you just knew how I felt then. :)
- Same day, afternoon. We had casual talks that I wish would last longer.
- We went again to the beach, and walked a long way back home. Your arms locked to mine. Falling stars. You wrote something on my skin using your finger. I knew that you meant it. It still felt like the first time you told me those.
- Same day, evening. We're just chilling outside our friend's house. Tibo/Lab moments. I'll definitely miss that. Another level up. You saw 4 falling stars and I saw 1. I guess we didn't need to say anything that exact time. All I know is that I'm so darn happy to think about other things. 'Far Away', 'Migraine', 'Hangover'. That pinkie promise. Wala nang 'sabawan'. I wished that it'll never end. That sweet escape. Those eyes. And those lips.
- Manila. Sobrang takot ako na 'matatapos' na lahat. Few LRT stations and we're going back to reality. You texted me "I'll miss you.. BIG TIME! :(" I was trying to be casual with my reply but just thinking that our sweet escape is over, is killing me. I'm the one who'll miss you BIG TIME. Promise, na wala nang sabawan. I'm really happy with what we have. :)
These are the moments I'll remember all my life.
I could not ask for more.
---------------------
Pathetic. I recovered this post from somewhere. Tagal kong hinanap. Wanted to read it again and again and again. NO OFFENSE MEANT. [Especially to the author.] I just wanted to remind myself that I was this "special" person once. That I was once this way: sweet, simple, happy-go-lucky. I wish I could bring that girl back. =(( I miss her.
- You let me call you "Star" again. At sinabi mo na ako lang ang pwedeng tumawag sa'yo nun.
- April 10 madaling-araw. Asa shore tayo, you're hugging me while leaning your head on my back.
- You gave me a starfish.
- April 10 morning. Bago tayo sumakay ng bangka, without saying anything, you hugged me.
- April 10 afternoon sa tent. We talked like we never did before. I guess nawala na ang migraine. I ended kissing your cheek. Level up.
- Same day. We texted too like we never did. And it's the first time I heard (actually read) you said those "words." I knew you meant it. I'm confident that you did.
- The week after that. How cheesy are we? :)
- April 16. A friend's birthday party. That hug.
- April 17 morning. Before we separate. Accidentally, your lips pressed to mine and you texted me "Gusto mo pa sa lips ha? haha."
- Chill sa MoA. First time. I never thought that you would share those kind of "things" with me. I feel I am special. Thanks for the trust. Awkwardness eliminated. It was the same time you asked me if I believe those "words" that you said to me. I told you I do.
- After that day. We had 'sabaw' (my fault) moment. But you made everything alright.
- Another chill. Sobra mo 'kong pinakaba. After we bought your coffee and while we walk to our "Chill" spot, you shocked me sa sinabi mo na hindi ko alam eh joke lang pala. :) You laughed at my reaction. When we reached our chill spot, you hugged me so tight before the 'sabaw' moment na na'disappoint' ako hehe. Thanks for telling me those things.
- May 5. Dared me to stop smoking for a day. I did, at least for almost 2 weeks. I'm thankful you asked me.
- May 14 with friends. We're making fun of a little chanting girl at the LRT. You had an LSS with the song she's singing.
- May 15 morning at the beach while waiting for our friends. We had a 'review' of something. Tinanong mo ko kung meron pa ba kong gusto itanong. We sat in front of a store, I told you how much I'm hurting, but I'm glad we made everything alright. What's important to me now is how we are doing in the present.
- And yeah, the trike. It was the first. If you just knew how I felt then. :)
- Same day, afternoon. We had casual talks that I wish would last longer.
- We went again to the beach, and walked a long way back home. Your arms locked to mine. Falling stars. You wrote something on my skin using your finger. I knew that you meant it. It still felt like the first time you told me those.
- Same day, evening. We're just chilling outside our friend's house. Tibo/Lab moments. I'll definitely miss that. Another level up. You saw 4 falling stars and I saw 1. I guess we didn't need to say anything that exact time. All I know is that I'm so darn happy to think about other things. 'Far Away', 'Migraine', 'Hangover'. That pinkie promise. Wala nang 'sabawan'. I wished that it'll never end. That sweet escape. Those eyes. And those lips.
- Manila. Sobrang takot ako na 'matatapos' na lahat. Few LRT stations and we're going back to reality. You texted me "I'll miss you.. BIG TIME! :(" I was trying to be casual with my reply but just thinking that our sweet escape is over, is killing me. I'm the one who'll miss you BIG TIME. Promise, na wala nang sabawan. I'm really happy with what we have. :)
These are the moments I'll remember all my life.
I could not ask for more.
---------------------
Pathetic. I recovered this post from somewhere. Tagal kong hinanap. Wanted to read it again and again and again. NO OFFENSE MEANT. [Especially to the author.] I just wanted to remind myself that I was this "special" person once. That I was once this way: sweet, simple, happy-go-lucky. I wish I could bring that girl back. =(( I miss her.
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