The One That Got Away. :(

I guess it’s that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn’t fall the right way, I suppose. I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a long time partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing.

It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little necessities of giddy romance. How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you’re not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn’t matter who you’re with, it just doesn’t work. Small problems become big; inconsequential become deal breakers simply because you’re not ready and it shows. It’s not that you and the person you’re with are no good; it’s just that it’s not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you’re ready. You really are. And when this happens you’ll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it’ll work because you’re ready. It’ll work because it’s the right time and you’ll make it work. And it’ll make sense, it really will. The day comes when you’re finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want and you’ve become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there’s no telling when this day will come.

Hopefully you’re single… but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn’t matter. All you know is that you’ve changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about. You’ll think about them because you’ll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You’ll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?"

That’s what the one that got away is. The biggest "What if?" you’ll have in your life.

If you’re married, you’ll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you’re mature enough to realize that if you’re already with the one you’re with, that this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you’ll think about him/her every so often, but it’s alright. It’s never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who’s already married. In which case it’s the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you’re old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it’s different. What do you do if it’s not yet too late? Simple… find him, find her. Because the very existence of a "one that got away" means that you’ll always wonder, what if you got that one? Ask him out to coffee; ask her out to a movie, it doesn’t matter if you’ve dropped in from out of nowhere. You’d be surprised, you just might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away." You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won’t make a difference.

If the timing is finally right,it’ll all just fall into place somehow. And it would be a great feeling, if in the end, you’d be able to say to someone, "Hey you, you’re the one that almost got away."

Insensitive

How do you cool your lips, after a summer's kiss?
How do you rid the sweat, after the body bliss?
How do you turn your eyes, from the romantic glare?
How do you block the sound of a voice, you'd know anywhere?

Oh I really should have known,
By the time you drove me home,
By the vagueness in your eyes,
Your casual good-byes,
By the chill in your embrace,
The expression on your face, that told me,
Maybe you might have, some advise to give, on how to be, insensitive.

How do you numb your skin, after the warmest touch?
How do you slow your blood, after the body rush?
How do you free your soul, after you've found a friend?
How do you teach your heart it's a crime, to fall in love again?

Well you probably won't remember me,
It's probably ancient history,
I'm one of the chosen few,
Who went ahead and fell for you,
I'm out of bold, I'm out of touch,
I fell too fast, I feel too much,
I thought that you might have, some advise to give, on how to be, insensitive.

Oooohh Ryan!

haaaaaay. after all that toxicity, i finally followed all of your advices. CHILL! eh di mag-chill ako diba? hehehe. kahit wala pang matinong tulog, after duty i decided to watch a movie. THE PROPOSAL. gusto ko talagang panoorin tong movie because of ryan reynolds. nakakaaliw kasi sya eh. he can be funny, sweet, sarcastic, and dramatic all in the same time. :) kaya ayan, mejo umaliwalas yung mukha ko dahil napatawa nya ko kagabi. kahit na last full show nalang naabutan ko, still worth it parin! :)

actuall, napanood na namin sya sa store nung walang tao, kaya lang hindi masyado malinaw yung copy, kaya nanuod ulit ako sa BIG SCREEN! wehehehe. since sweldo naman kahapon, why not treat myself diba? pwede naman yun diba? :)

at to top it all of, i bought a new laptop bag. hehehehe. :) (at ngayon, wala na ulit akong pera. pooof!)

On Waving The White Flag.

i didn’t think this day would come, that I, MELAI, will finally wave the white flag. In short, I SURRENDER! :)

hindi ko rin alam anong nangyari sakin at bigla kong naisip na makipagbati na sa kanya. at habang nagiisip ako, ito ang mga napagtanto ko:

A.) pagod na kong magalit sa taong insensitive. (hindi nya alam na galit ako sa kanya.)

B.) nabababawan ako sa sarili ko tuwing naiinis ako sa kanya / sa ginagawa nya / sa presence nya, etc.

C.) burden sa sarili ang magalit sa isang tao ng sobra-sobra. (imbes na masaya kang matutulog at gigising diba? iisipin mo yung kaaway mo and then BOOM! sira na araw mo.

D.) walang mararating ang galit ko, hindi sya magbabago dahil lang galit ako sa kanya. (paki nya bas akin diba?)

i do feel proud of myself for doing the first move, to have peace with those i’ve wronged / have wronged me as well. considering na ako ang mas matanda, i should be the one to understand things better. kaya nga inisangtabi ko muna ang pride, to gain some peace of mind. (mas magandang bargain yun diba?)

oo, ako si melai, si melai na mahilig sa away. gusto laging may bi-ni-bitch out at may inookray na mga tao, pero hindi lahat yun pinepersonal ko. J (konti lang!) if there’s one thing that i really like whenever i’m in a fight with someone, it’s the part where i have to say i’m sorry.. and then everything will be all right again. J hindi mahirap para sakin ang umako ng kasalanan, hindi rin mahirap para sakin ang magpatawad. ang gusto ko lang both parties understand each others feelings. (hindi yung ako lang iintindi sayo, anu ka swerte?) give and take lang yan dude! cliché pero totoo.

naalala ko nung nagkabati kami ni ate kat sa blue roze camp last 2006, super hagulgol ako sa kanya kasi nagsorry ako sa kanya during the LOVE BANQUET. ang sinabi nya lang sakin: “tumahan ka na, pinagtitinginan na nila tayo.” (napakacalm mo talaga ate noh!) masarap yung feeling ng nagsorry ka at napatawad ka eh.

naalala ko rin nung nag “blog war” kami ni chasha. wala pa yatang 1 week hindi na namin natiis at nagconfront na kami sa isa’t-isa. after that, BOOM! bati na kami ulit. again, nagsorry ako sa kanya, nagsorry rin sya sakin. J give and take dude! sabi nga ni chasha: “we could have been good enemies, but we’re better off as friends!” J (naalala ko pa cha noh!)

at kung may taong rinding-rindi na sa kasasabi ko ng “i’m sorry”, yun ay walang iba kundi si LEO CARLO MORADA! *palakpakan!* aminado akong marami na kong atraso jan (yun iba hindi nyo lang alam gaano kabigat!) pero isang sincere na explanation at apology ko lang, ok na lahat. ganun kabait sakin yan!

so what’s my whole point? before you use all your energy para magalit / mainis sa isang tao, be indifferent! alam mong ganun na ginagawa ng lahat eh, gagaya ka pa! instead, bring peace, not just with others but within yourself as well. J kung hindi mo magawang magpatawad (for now.) at least try to let go of what you’re feeling. pero the rest is still up to you. sino ba naman ako para diktahan ka, sino ka rin ba naman para sundin ako diba?

nakipagbati ako sa kanya hindi dahil sa diwa ng pasko, dahil sa gusto ko magsimula ng magandang bagong taon!

* salamat sa “naked juice bar” peeps (jai, ate jojie, kuya jeb, aloi) na nakikinig sa mga walang kwenta kong hinanaing sa kanya dati! natatawa ako pag naaalala ko.

* thank you aloi kapag pinagtatawanan mo ko pag naiinis ako sa kanya! natatawa narin ako ngayon. labyuu!

* kuya noel: maswerte ka kapatid ka ni aloi at malakas ka sakin! hehehe. peace na!

* thank you ate kat for being a role model of forgiveness! aylabyuu more!

SINO NGA BA SIYA?.... SECRET! J basta masaya na kami pareho at nagkausap na kami. this is all you really need to know. J (and correction, hindi naman pala sya insensitive gaya ng iniisip ko.)

Makes Sense.

this is a re-post from my dear friend ARNOLD AQUILENA JR. (sorry na beng!) minsan lang bumanat sa blog world yan pero patok na patok sakin lagi. :) miss na kita beng! :) see you soon!

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wala pa akong wishlist... hindi ko pa din kasi masyadong maisip ang mga gusto ko... saka gusto ko din ay yung mga posible para naman hindi masayang pag gawa ko..hehe... hindi na tulad ng gelpren na amanda griffin o kung ano pa.. matinong wishlist naman... mrami akong naiisip kaso wala akong masulat...anlabo eh noh.. bsta iisipin ko muna sila maigi.

kahapon tumulong kami dun sa org. ng math magayos at magbalot ng mga laruan at goods na ipamimigay namin sa sabado sa mga street children.. hehe.. ambait ko noh... well..isang dahilan ay dahil type ng barakada ko yung cute na officer..hehe. pero sa totoo, ang korni man....oo masarap din tlaga ang pakiramdam ng nkakatulong kahit sa sobrang liit lang na paraan..^_^ lalo na alam mong mga bata ang makikinabang.... naging bata ka din.. well ako bata pa din nga.. :D

gusto ko kahit isang linggo lang maging six years old ulet ako.. basta gusto ko ulet maging bata... marami ngang hindi mo pa pwedeng gawin, marami kang hindi pa alam. pero astig din naman,hindi mo pa masyado pinoproblema ang mga problema ng mundo, ang mga karaniwang problema mo lang ay kung pano ka hindi mababalagoong sa tumbang preso bukas o kaya san ba ang hindi madaling mahanap na taguan sa tagu-taguan nyo, o kaya naman kung makikipagbati naba sayo ung kaibigan mong sumira ng laruan mong kotse-kotsehan... hindi mo pa masyadong iniintindi ang mga sasabihin ng mga tao... hindi mo kailangan gawin lahatlahat ng rules ng buhay, medyo exempted ka kasi bata ka pa nga.. hindi pa masyadong bukas ang mga isip mo sa mga bulok at nakakatakot na bagay...well yun nga lang siguro matatakutin kapa sa mumu...hehe at higit sa lahat... madali kang matuwa.. mababaw pa ang kaligayahan mo, madali kapang makuntento at mauto ng nanay mo para maging masaya ka...^_^ ....saka sa ganyang edad ikaw ang nireregaluhan ngayon ikaw na ang nagreregalo...hehe.. mga instant inaanak..

(simple lang naman ang mga bagaybagay tayo lang ang nagpapakumplikado)... :D

makagawa man ako ng wishlist o hnde isa lang ang siguradong gusto kong matupad... gusto ko makagawa ng astig na bagay para sa ibang tao, na hindi iniisip yung sarili ko... gusto kong makatulong o maging parte sa pagtupad ng kahit isa lang sa mga wishlist ng ibang mga simpleng tao... well...wag lang syempre ang paghingi ng tulad ni amanda...akin lang sya! buwahahah!!...loko lang.

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naalala ko yung divi trip namin ni bits last week, kahit na toxic sa kalye ng juan luna at andadaming kargador na bumabangga samin, OK LANG! ang akin kasi, "kung sa pagshopping nga para sa sarili ko hindi ako napapagod, ano pa kaya yung para sa mga bata diba?" simpleng mga notebook, lapis ang crayola. pero alam mong magiging masaya sila dito! PRICELESS! :0 (samahan mo pa ng "starbucks bonding" after ng divi trip!)

*para kay kuya noel. wag na humirt ng "sana bata nalang ako" line. tandaan mo, nung panahon nyo walang J.. JE.. JEA.. alam mo na yun! :) happy birthday! :)