Flatline.

I know I said I'd be more active in my blog, but forgive me if I haven't. I just feel like my usual blahs are not blog-worthy, and that kaepalan lang kung i-blog ko pa. (Pwede naman na i-kain o i-tulog ko na lang, diba?)

Lately, I'm bored. (Yug totoo, matagal na akong bored. Haha!) Everything's sooo routinary. (And I am being my 2012 self again.. Ranting about my life being routinary.) Walang bago. Paulit-ulit na 'yung ginagawa mo every. single. day. Minsan ok lang, madalas itinatawid mo na lang. Kibit balikat nalang. And again I found myself thinking, hindi pa ba ko tapos sa quarter-life crisis ko?  

Flatline. Flatline. Flatline. Ano ba kasi 'yung flatline?  At bakit biglang pumasok sa isip ko 'yun?

Webster defines flatline as to be in a state of no progress or advancement. I, on the other hand, describe it as the "boring" phase of my life.

At 27, I feel like "progress" has been off my vocabulary for quiet some time now; I've become too complacent, and yes, lazy. Even if I wanted to do something (else) or try out new things, I can't. I have no means, resources, and I don't have the confidence. (Kaya nga nandito parin ako sa trabaho ko ngayon eh. Haha!) No one to blame, except for myself.

But, is it really not a good thing to be in this "flatlilne"? 

Some may fear the thought of a flatline, but I tend to see it in a different perspective. Most of the time, when the going gets tough, we should know when to stop, be still, and just let go. When we are faced with everyday struggles, we stress ourselves too much because even if in control, things still don't turn out to be in our favor. Going through a flatline can sometimes be a blessing for us, it is when we give up control of a situation and let God do His work. Cliche', but true.

Yes, I do get bored easily. Yes, I am itching for new and exciting things to come my way. Yes, I want change. But for now I have to be still, and let God decide what to give me on my plate. I lack patience and giving up FULL control has been a challenge for me, but if that's what it takes to get me out of this flatline, then so be it. May I say the things I do, and do the things I say.

  “You are what you do, not what you say you'll do.” - C.G. Jung