IGNORING METHOD - Or often called SILENT TREATMENT [an aloof refusal to speak to someone you know]
What Are You Saying By Not Saying Anything At All
Probably at one time or another you have been either on the giving or receiving end of a silent treatment, otherwise known as the cold shoulder. What you probably didn’t realize is that the silent treatment is a form of ostracism. When someone is ostracized it affects the part of their brain called the anterior cingulate cortex. Do you know what the anterior cingulate cortex does?
The anterior cingulate cortex is the part of the brain that detects pain. When you give someone the silent treatment you are causing that person physical pain. Simply by ignoring someone else’s existence you can inflict pain on them. This is what the ever popular “time out” with a child is so effective. The child feels ostracized, therefore is feeling pain even though no physical pain was inflicted on them, and therefor they want to behave so they don’t have to feel that way again.
The silent treatment can be a very destructive behavior when it involves personal relationships. Let’s say with a husband and wife for instance. The silent treatment breeds bitterness on both ends and it borders on emotional abuse… I’m not making that up to be dramatic. That’s what “they” say.
Cooling Off And Ostracizing Are Two Very Different Things
Let’s not confuse the silent treatment with something known as “the cooling off period”. The cooling off period is where one person is so angry or disgusted by the other person that they just cannot deal with the situation in that state need time to calm down before they begin to speak to this person. That’s fine and actually that’s probably better than sitting and screaming at each other.
There is a big difference between taking some time to cool down and outright ignoring the existence of the other person. The silent treatment would be more along the lines of you doing something that pisses someone off, they clue you in on it (or not), and then they don’t speak to you, acknowledge you or even make eye contact with you for sometimes days. No good.
To me, this is a form of torture. Nothing positive comes from this type of behavior. What makes more sense…blowing up about something, cooling off a little and then talking about how to resolve it OR not blowing up about something, staying completely pissed and not doing anything to help resolve the situation? If you said the latter… you’re a dick.
When someone is administering the silent treatment they are trying to show that they are dominant over you. The silent treatment (when it becomes a mutual one) is a power struggle in pain tolerance…whomever the winner is, cares less.
When You Are On The Receiving End Of The Silent Treatment
It’s interesting to me that research has shown that woman and men respond to the silent treatment very differently. Woman who are on the receiving end of the silent treatment seem to try anything in their power to win back their good grace with the ostracize where men…don’t. They just deal with it.
But what exactly are the men just dealing with and the woman trying to avoid? The emotional pain associated with being ostracized. Those who have been treated to the silent treatment have reported as sense of loss, of not belonging, of lower self-esteem and a feeling of unworthiness. All of these feelings are the result of someone just not acknowledging them or ignoring them. I find that pretty interesting.
Source: http://www.kensavage.com/archives/silent-treatment/
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Just WOW. I'm so much enlightened with what I've read. [And guilty as well. Ü]
I partly agree with what the article said, about the "cold shoulder" inflicting pain to another person. Yeah! It kind of hit me right here. [Sa dibdib. Haha! Ü] I didn't know how serious this is until after reading it. Well, all I can say is.. "NEED I SAY MORE?" Hahaha! Ü Yun na lahat yun eh, may maidadagdag pa ba ko?
Waaiitt! Just a thought.. Ignoring a person is different from ignoring a feeling, right? What if that person is the one who 'triggers' the feeling that you would like to 'ignore'? Will you also ignore him/her? I don't know. I guess every situation calls for different measures.
I admit, I have been doing this "Silent Treatment" for a long time now. Actually, it became my 'defense mechanism' whenever I am mad/pissed/annoyed with someone/something. I just don't want to talk to the person right then and there because I might say something that I'll regret. And also, I try to be calm and maintain composure [Which I am not successful at times.] when 'conflict' arises. I just don't like the thought of confrontations when both sides are 'hot-headed' and not thinking straight. I just wait till the feeling shrug off, then, medyo ok na ulit ako. "Ako na yung lumalayo sa gulo para wala nang gulo." And I don't think there's anything wrong with that.. Until now.
I realized that it's a lot harder when you the 'receiving end' of this "treatment". You don't know what's going on, but you sure know that something's wrong. You just have to go along with what's happening, after all, there's nothing you can do to fix it. It just feels sad to be ignored [Although I am ignoring a lot of people right now. Sorry!] and I think that this article is an eye-opener for me.
Madami pa sana ako gusto sabihin kaya lang hindi ko na maisip kung paano isusulat eh. Napa-Tagalog na nga ako sa kakaisip eh. Haha! Ü Anyway, these are just my opinions, and you don't have to agree with it. {Pero if you agree, ayos! Ü]
So I have to cut this short already, I haven't finished reading the notes for my assignment later. Till here. :)
PS: Kaya ikaw, alam na alam ko yang ginagawa mo.. Dahil ginagawa ko rin yan.. But don't worry, you need not justify it. People just vary on ways on coping up, or in this case, moving on. One thing though, I just thought you'd be different.. That's all..
PPS: Comment ka Aica ah? :)
6 days to go.. ♥
What Are You Saying By Not Saying Anything At All
Probably at one time or another you have been either on the giving or receiving end of a silent treatment, otherwise known as the cold shoulder. What you probably didn’t realize is that the silent treatment is a form of ostracism. When someone is ostracized it affects the part of their brain called the anterior cingulate cortex. Do you know what the anterior cingulate cortex does?
The anterior cingulate cortex is the part of the brain that detects pain. When you give someone the silent treatment you are causing that person physical pain. Simply by ignoring someone else’s existence you can inflict pain on them. This is what the ever popular “time out” with a child is so effective. The child feels ostracized, therefore is feeling pain even though no physical pain was inflicted on them, and therefor they want to behave so they don’t have to feel that way again.
The silent treatment can be a very destructive behavior when it involves personal relationships. Let’s say with a husband and wife for instance. The silent treatment breeds bitterness on both ends and it borders on emotional abuse… I’m not making that up to be dramatic. That’s what “they” say.
Cooling Off And Ostracizing Are Two Very Different Things
Let’s not confuse the silent treatment with something known as “the cooling off period”. The cooling off period is where one person is so angry or disgusted by the other person that they just cannot deal with the situation in that state need time to calm down before they begin to speak to this person. That’s fine and actually that’s probably better than sitting and screaming at each other.
There is a big difference between taking some time to cool down and outright ignoring the existence of the other person. The silent treatment would be more along the lines of you doing something that pisses someone off, they clue you in on it (or not), and then they don’t speak to you, acknowledge you or even make eye contact with you for sometimes days. No good.
To me, this is a form of torture. Nothing positive comes from this type of behavior. What makes more sense…blowing up about something, cooling off a little and then talking about how to resolve it OR not blowing up about something, staying completely pissed and not doing anything to help resolve the situation? If you said the latter… you’re a dick.
When someone is administering the silent treatment they are trying to show that they are dominant over you. The silent treatment (when it becomes a mutual one) is a power struggle in pain tolerance…whomever the winner is, cares less.
When You Are On The Receiving End Of The Silent Treatment
It’s interesting to me that research has shown that woman and men respond to the silent treatment very differently. Woman who are on the receiving end of the silent treatment seem to try anything in their power to win back their good grace with the ostracize where men…don’t. They just deal with it.
But what exactly are the men just dealing with and the woman trying to avoid? The emotional pain associated with being ostracized. Those who have been treated to the silent treatment have reported as sense of loss, of not belonging, of lower self-esteem and a feeling of unworthiness. All of these feelings are the result of someone just not acknowledging them or ignoring them. I find that pretty interesting.
Source: http://www.kensavage.com/archives/silent-treatment/
-----------------------
Just WOW. I'm so much enlightened with what I've read. [And guilty as well. Ü]
I partly agree with what the article said, about the "cold shoulder" inflicting pain to another person. Yeah! It kind of hit me right here. [Sa dibdib. Haha! Ü] I didn't know how serious this is until after reading it. Well, all I can say is.. "NEED I SAY MORE?" Hahaha! Ü Yun na lahat yun eh, may maidadagdag pa ba ko?
Waaiitt! Just a thought.. Ignoring a person is different from ignoring a feeling, right? What if that person is the one who 'triggers' the feeling that you would like to 'ignore'? Will you also ignore him/her? I don't know. I guess every situation calls for different measures.
I admit, I have been doing this "Silent Treatment" for a long time now. Actually, it became my 'defense mechanism' whenever I am mad/pissed/annoyed with someone/something. I just don't want to talk to the person right then and there because I might say something that I'll regret. And also, I try to be calm and maintain composure [Which I am not successful at times.] when 'conflict' arises. I just don't like the thought of confrontations when both sides are 'hot-headed' and not thinking straight. I just wait till the feeling shrug off, then, medyo ok na ulit ako. "Ako na yung lumalayo sa gulo para wala nang gulo." And I don't think there's anything wrong with that.. Until now.
I realized that it's a lot harder when you the 'receiving end' of this "treatment". You don't know what's going on, but you sure know that something's wrong. You just have to go along with what's happening, after all, there's nothing you can do to fix it. It just feels sad to be ignored [Although I am ignoring a lot of people right now. Sorry!] and I think that this article is an eye-opener for me.
Madami pa sana ako gusto sabihin kaya lang hindi ko na maisip kung paano isusulat eh. Napa-Tagalog na nga ako sa kakaisip eh. Haha! Ü Anyway, these are just my opinions, and you don't have to agree with it. {Pero if you agree, ayos! Ü]
So I have to cut this short already, I haven't finished reading the notes for my assignment later. Till here. :)
PS: Kaya ikaw, alam na alam ko yang ginagawa mo.. Dahil ginagawa ko rin yan.. But don't worry, you need not justify it. People just vary on ways on coping up, or in this case, moving on. One thing though, I just thought you'd be different.. That's all..
PPS: Comment ka Aica ah? :)
6 days to go.. ♥
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