Sa Kanya.

Namulat ako at ngayo'y nag-iisa

Pagkatapos ng ulan
Bagama't nakalipas na ang mga sandali
Ay nagmumuni kung ako'y nagwagi
Pinipilit mang sabihin na ito'y wala sa akin
Ngunit bakit hanggang ngayon, nagdurugo pa rin

Sa kanya pa rin babalik sigaw, ng damdamin
Sa kanya pa rin sasaya, bulong ng puso ko
Kung buhay pa ang alaala ng ating nakaraan
Ang pagmamahal at panahon alay pa rin sa kanya

At sa hatinggabi ay nag-iisa na lang
Ay minamasdan ang larawan mo
At ngayo'y bumalik nang siya'y kapiling pa
Alaala ng buong magdamag
Kung sakali mang isipin na ito'y wala sa akin
Sana'y dinggin ang tinig kong nag-iisa pa rin

Sa kanya pa rin babalik sigaw, ng damdamin
Sa kanya pa rin sasaya, bulong ng puso ko
Kung buhay pa ang alaala ng ating nakaraan
Ang pagmamahal at panahon alay pa rin sa kanya

Sa kanya..

Learned Helplessness.

Learned helplessness, as a technical term in animal psychology and related human psychology, means a condition of a human person or an animal in which it has learned to behave helplessly, even when the opportunity is restored for it to help itself by avoiding an unpleasant or harmful circumstance to which it has been subjected. Learned helplessness theory is the view that clinical depression and related mental illnesses may result from a perceived absence of control over the outcome of a situation.

Learned helplessness can contribute to poor health when people neglect diet, exercise, and medical treatment, falsely believing they have no power to change. The more people perceive events as uncontrollable and unpredictable, the more stress they experience, and the less hope they feel about making changes in their lives. Young adults and middle-aged parents with a pessimistic explanatory style are often more likely to suffer from depression. People with a pessimistic explanatory style tend to be poor at problem-solving and cognitive restructuring, and also tend to demonstrate poor job satisfaction and interpersonal relationships in the workplace. Those with a pessimistic explanatory style also tend to have weakened immune systems, and not only have increased vulnerability to minor ailments (e.g. cold, fever) and major illness (e.g. heart attack, cancers), but also have a less effective recovery from health problems.

Learned helplessness can also be a motivational problem. Individuals who have failed at tasks in the past conclude erroneously that they are incapable of improving their performance. This might set children behind in academic subjects and dampen their social skills. Children with learned helplessness typically fail academic subjects, and are less intrinsically motivated than others. They may use learned helplessness as an excuse or a shield to provide self-justification for school failure. Additionally, describing someone as having learned to be helpless can serve as a reason to avoid blaming him or her for the inconveniences experienced. In turn, the student will give up trying to gain respect or advancement through academic performance.


Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learned_helplessness | Image by: Google

-------------------------

Thanks to Bituin at may bagong "clinical term" na naman akong nalaman. [Ayan! Hindi Google ginawa ko, Wikipedia na agad! Hahaha! BITCH!] Natakot naman ako bigla.. Positive yung SOME of the syndromes eh.. Wuuuuuuhooooo! 'Wag naman sana.. Magbabago na.. Promise. Promise. PROMISE!

Back Into You.

Picking up the pieces of our broken memories
There's one I can't let go of that keeps me on my knees
See I know it's half my fault that we couldn't stay together
But we said no matter what, we'd still be friends forever

How could you turn and just go, and leave me standing so cold
Now you wanna work it out, tell me what's that all about
How could you up and move on like what you had for me is gone
Now you wanna work it out.. But baby I'm..

Trying to find my way back into you
When I think of how you left me, baby it's not easy
But I'm trying to find my way back into you
When I think about you've moved on, baby it's just so hard

I never quit my love for you, baby that's the truth
Too hard for me to move on when I feel this way for you
See I know sometimes we need our space, baby that's ok
But if you really loved me why'd you leave that way? Tell me..

How could you turn and just go, and leave me standing so cold
Now you wanna work it out, tell me what's that all about
How could you up and move on like what you had for me is gone
Now you wanna work it out.. But baby I'm..

Trying to find my way back into you
When I think of how you left me, baby it's not easy
But I'm trying to find my way back into you
When I think about you've moved on, baby it's just so hard

Heaven knows every second I'm away from you I find it so hard
I'd give anything to find the strength to be with you
I want it like you do I just need some time to find peace of mind
But before you go I want you to know that I'm..

Trying to find my way back into you
When I think of how you left me, baby it's not easy
But I'm trying to find my way back into you
When I think about you've moved on, baby it's just so hard

ENOUGH ALREADY!

No matter how hard I try to avoid it, bad vibes keep coming my way. AS IN! Like for example today, it could have been one "normal" day, but noooo! Here's the deal..

I've f*cking applied for my VL almost a month ago for that Puerto Princesa trip that was booked last December, or somewhere near that date. I wanted to go there badly, especially now! That's why I tried to make ammends on my end for them to approve my VL. I even offered to work overtime [without pay] just to show them that I'm willing to be of help just so they can approve my VL.

BUT, unexpectedly, my reliever had an emergency and couldn't report for work on the day that I applied my VL. [Which I have know just last Monday] I am not that inconsiderate and I totally understand her situation that's why I didn't argue. I won't deny that it really broke my heart not being able to join the trip. [Ako pa naman pasimuno ng pag-book na yun!] Plus, I so need to get out of here, AS IN!

Fast-forward. I've already accepted the fact that I won't be going after all. As what I've said from my previous post, I am letting those BVs pass. But what's annoying is that your boss will continually ask you on what to do regarding that matter. I mean, really? Is there still something that can be done? And there is, why couldn't you think of it and why bother ask me? Diba lang? I know this ranting is kinda low, but I am this furious because this isn't the first time that this is happening. [Alam ng mga kaibigan ko na tuwing trip lagi akong may extra ticket, delayed flight, or early return home!] Plus, reliever is trying to play "psych war" on me by pushing me to talk to the Department Head regarding the situation and what needs to be done if ever this will happen again. WHY ME? WHY NOT YOU? Kainis eh! Ako pa pinagtutulakan! Haller! As if naman may magagawa pa eh.. isa lang naman sasabihin nila eh.. "Wala na tayo magagawa jan eh!" She keps sending me text messages all morning, and I'm like.. "ENOUGH ALREADY!" Papasok na nga ako bukas eh, wala nang issue. Wala nang usap-usap!

Well, here's what I can do.. I can freaking pass my resignation letter. Ktnxbye.


P.S. : Joke lang yung last part.. Not yet. Haha! Wala pa kong ipon eh. Hahaha! Caught in the moment lang. Haaaaaay.

Blahs.

Random thoughts. Stuff. Blahs. Updates.

** PURPLE PHONE DROOL **

While in ATC last Saturday, I saw this baby that really caught my attention. And I wanna buy her right away.. BUT! Luckily, I manage to get hold of myself, and just adored her from the display window. And now, I can't stop thinking about her. [Yeah! It's a girl.. a girl fone. And Im'ma name her BONNIE if I get to buy her. *hopefully*] And here it is.. the *almost* new BLACKBERRY CURVE 8530! ♥♥♥
And of course, I need 2 fones, and they have to be matching colors [WHAT? Hahaha!] so I was thinking also of replacing my Nokia E72, with the same model [Of course, I've learned to love that fone COMPLETELY! Hahaha!] but the Amethyst version. [What do I mean by that? Check this out and you'll know why!] ♥♥♥
** STUCK IN MY HEAD **


I've been playing these albums for weeks now, and I'm getting the hang of it. [Timeout from EMO songs muna.] Relaxing. I recommend you download it also and listen to the whole album. It's nice. Enough said. Ü



** GETTIN' INKED **


Planning on getting inked again. [No definite date yet. Promise! Haha!] And I want it placed near my right ankle so its kinda-crazy painful! Hahaha! But then, no pain no tatt right? HAH! Maybe on my 25th birthday? Nah! How 'bout 24th? Hahaha! =)) But then it got me thinking, my tattoo 'theme' will be ruined if I opt to choose this design.. buuuuuut I WANT it! =( [Stars, Purple, Pinkish, blah!] Hhhhmmm.. Decisions, decisions..

** HAPPY BIRTHDAY MI LOVE **

June 7. For the first time in N years, I didn't confuse myself for another date of my dear friend's birthday. ARIEL L. REGULLANO. Happy *insert age here* Birthday! Hahaha! Ü I Googled your name looking for a photo that I'll post here, and this is my favorite one.

Again, Happy Happy Birthday. Thank you for all the craziness that you continually bring into my life. [Anu daw? Grammar check nga Grammar Police!] Basta, for being a one-of-a-kind friend. I love you (mmm-hhmmm) honey bee! ♥♥♥

** ON MY TEMPER **

Lately, I'm learning how to control my temper [Or in this case, my bitchiness.] and how to just let those 'Bad Vibes' pass. Right? WRONG! This is not good. I repeat. THIS. IS. NOT. GOOD. Why? Ano yun? 'Di na ko marunong magalit? Kasi napapalipas ko nalang yung mga bagay na dapat ko ikagalit? AT bakit ako nagsasalita ng Filipino? 'Diba dapat 'pag galit magaling mag-English? Anyway.. As I was saying. I think not being able to get mad isn't healthy. And I think people will take advantage of that. [Nega naman!] Basta, lately I don't know how to get mad.. I'll just let it pass.. So go ahead.. Test me, while it lasts.. Hahahaha! =)) Try me, if you dare.

** RANDOM THOUGHTS **

► Everyone is facing a battle. You don't know what they're going through, so try to be a little bit considerate sometimes.

► Not everything is about you. So don't assume, but rather, ask.

► What you think is a good diversion won't take your mind off things that you need to deal with. [Ha? Basta ganun!]

► If you think you know it, YOU DON'T! [And I quote.. Ü]

► Ngayon ko lang nalaman, may 'substitution' din pala ng tao sa buhay?

► Kailangan ko ng 'breather'. Yung bagong environment. New routine. New work. etc.

► PEACE OF MIND - I so need you now. I'm tired.

'Till here. Blah.